WHAT DO MY PRE-TEEN, TEEN AND I HAVE IN COMMON? BLACK COMES TO MIND ...
Well, since they are my sons, I would have to say that we have a ton of things in common. I am aware of our similarities, but I am sure that I've overlooked some commonalities through the years ... As of today, the color BLACK comes to mind and inspires me to write this blog post for other moms of teens and pre-teens; especially those judging kids dressed in black these days. They are not all Emo, Punk Rock and Goth influenced teens / pre-teens.
YES ... BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK!
As I was helping my pre-teen put away laundry and organize his dresser drawers, I noticed that he had SO MANY black items in his room. There are a ton of black clothes, hats, shoes, sheets, pillow cases, comforter, wrist bands, etc) and one pair of white sneakers with red and blue stitching. We just purchased these shoes, so they are a new addition to his wardrobe. Aside of some colorful "hand me downs" from his teen brother, my tween's personal wardrobe selections had really transitioned to dark colors over the years. The black is obviously the majority, but there are a few dark grays, hinter green and navy items. I guess this is not such a big deal to most, but it REALLY got me thinking!!!
"IF YOU DO WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE,
YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN"
Although my older son was adamant about wearing black or navy blue hoodies - instead of a coat - by 8th grade, he has always been on the more colorful side. He did eventually trade in the "all black" and "all blue" hoodies for more stylish designs ... Regardless, the point is that his apparel did not transition too dramatically by middle school and high school years. I do remember his refusing to wear cargo type pants in 6th grade, but he now takes pride when dressing up or in a relaxed style.
WHAT IN THE HECK IS THE POINT HERE ... ?
My point being that there were not dramatic indicators that my oldest son had reached his pre-teen / teen years. I was kind of oblivious to the fact that we would have some REALLY challenging stages throughout those pre-teen and teen those years. He appeared to be the same, colorful, fella from 6th grade to 10th grade ... that is until he began refusing to play the sports that he had always loved. We soon had more conflicts in the home; his activity and friend choices transitioned quite a bit, too. Keeping in mind that he went from private school to homeschooling in the 6th grade and then public schools thereafter, there were obviously a lot of influences in the pre-teen and teen years.
LOL, LOOKS LIKE THIS NEW TWEEN OF MINE HAS BEEN CHANGING SINCE THE END OF 4TH GRADE AND WENT ALL BLACK BY THE MIDDLE OF 6TH GRADE.
My middle son has had a few changes in interests over the past year and a little attitude has peaked since Christmas, but all in all he has been the same to me. I guess it would have been more put he began homeschooling around Christmas ... This has permitted me to keep closer watch on his activities, friend choices and newly developed interests (which have just been few new interests as he has always been rather fixated on the same things). Regardless, he was making some not so great friend choices and showing changes in his interest well before my 1st son started to gravitate to the "darker" subjects, music and trends. Does this mean that his transition in adulthood will move faster, too?
AS I SORTED THE TOO SMALL CLOTHES FROM WHAT FITS, GOT THE SUMMER CLOTHES AND COMPARED WHILE I PUT HIS LAUNDRY AWAY IN THE DRAWERS ...
I noticed that, although my pre-teen has already made some darker choices over the past year and 1/2, those shiny white shoes REALLY stood out to me. I could then see how many other colorful t-shirts he has been wearing over the past 6 months, as well as how many new responsibilities he has taken with stride as we are trying to prepare him for adulthood (yard work, caring for the dog, accepting and wanting to help with his baby brother, not arguing about having to home school, etc).
I FELT SO RELIEVED!!! NOT BLINDED BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THERE IS MORE TO COME, BUT CONFIDENT THAT THIS 2ND RUN WILL GO MORE SMOOTHLY ...
I know that my teen and tween are very different people (oil and vinegar in some ways), but they are my boys and we all have a lot of similarities. I had some rough teen years and never expected that my children would experience the same because I planned to notice and handle things better than my parents. All I can say now is ...
"C'EST LA VIA" ...
I suppose that I better start going though my post pregnancy clothing. I have REALLY taken to wearing a lot of black to slim out the chunky areas and feel more comfortable while getting puked on :) Hum, now that I put it that way ... I guess that I understand "goth" and "emo" a little better these days!!! Meanwhile, I should have remembered because it was "punk" when I was a teen :)
I GUESS MANY "FADE TO BLACK" AT LEAST ONE TIME IN LIFE!!!
In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child