Starting Over Is Not Easy ... Mother Baby Child Blog

I was over 35 when I gave birth to Baby Max. My younger son was 11 years old and my older son had just turned seventeen. It wasn't easy starting over again ... Mother Baby Child is a blog to share parenting experiences, as well as what marriage is like after being a single mom for so many years. Get info on having a baby, raising children, babies, tweens, teens, homeschooling, mom blogs, work at home mom. business marketing, Christian and celebrity moms blog posts.
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Autism

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WHAT IS AUTISM / AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER?

Autism is a bio-neurological disorder that is detectable in early childhood. It is a "spectrum disorder" that has varied characteristics of abnormal social interaction and communication, restricted interests, highly repetitive and eccentric behaviors.

AUTISM FACTS & STATS

In 2011, it was 1 in every 110 children diagnosed with autism in this country. It is now 1 in 88 for this 2012 autism stats (1 in 54 are boys).

It is estimated that 67 million people word wide are affected by autism.

Autism is the fastest growing developmental disorder in the U.S.A.

In 2011, there was a 600% increase in the number of people with autism in the last 20 years.

More people will be affected by autism than AIDS, Cancer and Diabetis combined, but autism only gets 5% of research funding in comparison to any other disease.

There is no cure for autism, but early detection and intervention provides improvement.

Research indicates that at least two years of early behavioral intervention - during preschool years - can result in significant improvement in language ability and IQ for many young children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).


AUTISM INFORMATION & RESOURCES

Center For Autism & Developmental Disabilities Epidemiology (John Hopkins)

Autism rates rising sharply, CDC reports (several articles linked to this)

World Autism Awareness Day & Autism Awareness Month 2012 (Pinterst Pin for Autism)

World Autism Awareness Day 2011 - April 2nd

Autism Awareness Month - April

Autism Speaks Foundaton - http://www.autismspeaks.org - is the nation's largest autism science and advocacy organization.

The Autism Book by Dr Sears

In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

Has My Infant Been Talking To Me? Baby Talk

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Can my baby talk to me? Learn what each cry means so that you can. Dunstan Baby Language System is correct, our baby can talk to us using these few words. Watch this video to see my infant talking to me
Picture of Baby Talking - Baby Max - 7 Weeks Old - February 2011

I am an infomercial addict ... especially when it comes to "kid stuff"! 

Yes, I know that some people think that infomercials are a horrible waste of time and I rarely do buy anything from them, but I LOVE learning about all of those "useful", new and amazing products.

One of my absolute favorite infomercials is Your Baby Can Read. I've been watching it for years and just about drove Max's dad crazy during our pregnancy ... We have to have it! Meanwhile, I never thought that I would ever have the opportunity to buy it for a baby of my own ... nor that his father would FINALLY watch the infomercials with me once the baby was born (LOL, he even questioned which languages it comes in). We cannot wait to buy Your Baby Can Read and another program called Signing Time.

Why haven't we bought Your Baby Can Read or Signing Time?

The problem is that we still have a few months before Max can see well enough and focus long enough for the programs. It is good to start Your Baby Can Read as early as 3 months and some studies have show babies as young as 5 or 6 months can use Signing Time. Regardless, as I was exploring these options, I came across another program called Dunstan Baby Language. It was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show and I find it somewhat accurate for our baby. The premise of the program is that ...

"All newborn babies produce 5 distinct "pre-cry" sounds that signal their 5 most important needs. By listening for these subtle cries, you are able to prevent the crying from even starting. Dunstan Baby Language System will teach you to identify exactly what sounds to listen for, so you know precisely what your newborn needs. Learn how to listen to your baby's 'babble', and respond quickly. Your baby will reward you by sleeping more, allowing you to sleep more."

I don't know about you, but it breaks my heart when my baby cries and I cannot sooth him. 

Crying at night is not an issue for us. Max sleeps pretty well, and it is obvious that he wants changed or fed if he cries at night. I am more concerned with the crying that comes out of the blue and not knowing why my baby is crying so hard (is he hungry? is he wet or solid? is he tired? is he hurt? does he have gas? is he bored?).  This is what prompted me to pay very close attention to the signals he gives me when leading up to, during and after he cries. It's also why I'm glad to have come across the Dunstan Baby Language System.

The funniest thing is that I kept telling our family that Max has been talking to us these past 3 weeks. His father thought that I was crazy until I introduced him to the Dunstan Baby Language website. Now he agrees ...


If you watch this short video until it ends, you will see this baby using body language to communicate that he is starting to get hungry. You will also hear the baby saying "Ney" to communicate that he is hungry and ready to eat ... as explained below in this blog post.

The following is what I have noticed about our child. Compare it to your baby and what is stated on the Dunstan Baby Language website ... it's too cool!

"NEY"
He sounds just like a sheep, but this lets me know when he is ready to eat because sometimes he just needs to get burped again or wants to rest on my chest. Dunstan lists "NEY" as the cry for hungry. It is quite valid in Max's case. In fact, he can become a quite assertive "neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey" when he is impatient or starving after a long nap. Dunstan was right on point for this one.

"HEY"
Max sometimes says "Hey" when we walk out of the room (when he is alone for a span of time). Now that he is 7 weeks old, we are both confident that he is and has been calling us back to him. It is just comical and that "hey" can get rather loud and frustrated if we do not answer quickly enough. I tested this by responding to him from another room. Max will get quiet for a second or two, though start with the "hey" again if we do not speak again from the other room or come into the room where he is calling, "hey". It is just a hoot. Dunstan Baby Language attributes this to discomfort (which it very well could be for Max) - our family reads it as Max just does not want to be alone (a different type of discomfort - loneliness / abandonment).

There are 5 types of crying and we have confirmed 2 thus far. As per the other 3 types cries, Max must have a language of his own because we cannot distinguish these, but this does not mean that we will not. We notice changes with our baby ever day, so I'll have to get back to you on whether he meets the status quo for cries that distinguish his need to burp, gas or being tired.

I do know that our baby was able to communicate whether he wanted to nurse or have the pacifier by 2 1/2 weeks. Max would instinctively reach one hand to his mouth and do a quick touch (awkward poke or quick fist to mouth) to signify that he was checking for his pacifier. On the other hand, he would quickly rub both hands / fists and make panting sound if he wanted to nurse. This was awesome because I could somewhat avoid unnecessary crying by watching his actions. Now that Max is 8 weeks old, he will also block the SOOTHIE pacifier with his tongue when he wants the NUK or does not want a pacifier at all. He will most often stop fussing when he sees my breast (and they say babies do not see well - phooey!). i.e, This is not addressed in the Dunstan Baby Language, but think that it is interesting enough to share with other moms.

The point here is that although all babies cry, you can make your baby more comfortable and avoid potentially stressful situations by recognizing their indicators (as stated in my examples above). We use the pacifier much less now that we are listening and watching how our baby communicates. I think that the Dunstan Baby Language is useful to new mommies and those who want to be more sensitive and in tune as their baby develops.  

I hope that you enjoyed this blog post and video :)


In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

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"ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:

  • Share everything.
  • Play fair.
  • Don't hit people.
  • Put things back where you found them.
  • Clean up your own mess.
  • Don't take things that aren't yours.
  • Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
  • Wash your hands before you eat.
  • Flush.
  • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  • Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  • Take a nap every afternoon.
  • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
  • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
  • And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Sexting - Teens & Tweens

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Breastfeeding has given me the opportunity to catch up on a few TV shows (Top Model, Law & Order, Pawn Stars, Being Human). Meanwhile, I rarely watch TV, so this is kind of relaxing. 

This month, I came across Dr. Phil on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). I'd heard a lot about him over the years, though never watched the show ... It's pretty good. Sexting was a subject on the show one night. I had seen the same on Law & Order one night. It was also an issue on Degrassi  (a show that I watch  with my tween). All of them reminded me of the time I busted my oldest son and his friends with some pretty explicit pictures on their phones. I didn't make a huge deal out of it (especially since the guys were hanging at my house and I did not want to embarrass my son), but I did briefly address the indecency of it with them. At that time, I did not know that this type of cell phone message is called "sexting" nor the numerous complications / issues of this trend (illegal, peer pressure, self-esteem issues).

What is Sexting?

Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. The term was first popularized around 2005, and is a portmanteau of sex and texting, where the latter is meant in the wide sense of sending a text possibly with images.(Teresa Edmond (2010-0221). http://www.northjersey.com/news/education/84932002_Parents__students_get__the_4-1-1_on_sexting_.html NorthJersey.com. Retrieved 2010-05-30)

Is Sexting Illegal? What does sexting involve?

Sexting that involves people sending explicit photographs of themselves to their peers has led to a legal gray area in countries that have strict anti-child pornography laws, such as the United States. Some teenagers who have texted "photographs" of themselves, or of their friends or partners, have been charged with distribution of child pornography, while those who have received the images have been charged with possession of child pornography; in some cases, the possession charge has been applied to school administrators who have investigated sexting incidents as well. The images involved in sexting are usually different in both nature and motivation from the type of content that anti-child pornography laws were created to address. (Teresa Edmond (2010-0221). http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2009/02/20/sexting_teens. NorthJersey.com. Retrieved 2010-05-30)

How to keep pre-teens / teens from sexting?

Although we cannot watch and control everything our teens are doing, you have to try to talk with your teen or tween about sexting. Explain that sexting is illegal and although it might be funny or amusing to his / her friends, kids get hurt (they lose friends, people forward the messages to others and post images on the internet, perverted adults may get a hold of messages and / or pictures, kids get suspended and expelled from school, people that love them will be disappointed, etc.) as a consequence of sexting.

Sexting has become a huge issue among pre-teen and teen kids in the USA.

We have become a nation of parents that are much too permissive, indulgent and trusting of our children. Too many kids are permitted to "hang out" at the mall on school nights. Tweens date and go to the movies without chaperones. Where cell phones were once a necessity for latchkey kids and parents to communicate; they are now a commonality that even elementary school children expect. Think about it! How many kids do you know that have cell phones? How many of those kids spend more time texting than speaking on the phone? How many are under the age of 13 and on Facebook? Meanwhile, parents are much too lax about checking on how their children are using their cell phones ... this is apparent when they get the cell phone bills and most act surprised when they do. Meanwhile, it is now just as common for kids to send dirty jokes and naked pictures by cell phone. 

Sexting is one of those "out of control' teen issues that has partially resulted from our permissiveness, detachment from our children and the age old syndrom of PEER PRESSURE. The sooner we get a handle on it within communities, schools and households, the better off our teens and pre-teens will be. 

Has someone been sending your child sexting messages? Want to share this information with other parents? Send their parent the link to this post by copying and pasting this link in an email message to them: http://motherbabychild.blogspot.com/2011/03/sexting-teens-tweens.html


In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child
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