1st Trimester (Energetic, Athletic, Pain-Free, 38 Years Old)
Post Pregnancy (Exhausted, Chubby, Achy, 39.5 Years Old)
Today I woke up feeling "some kind of way" about my age. My exact thought was that "I am 21 years older than my 1st son, 25 years older than my 2nd son and 38 1/2 years older than our baby boy ... what was I thinking?" I woke my husband and tell him. He just said "yeah" and went back to sleep, but the baby gave me a nice jump on the stomach and crushed my breast with his palm. That was followed with a kiss and smile to reward me when I moaned in pain (that's boys for ya!). That was the exact moment that I thought what I never believed that I would think, "Uh, I'm getting too old for this!".
Is this what 40 is like? Different than "Over 35" now that our baby is a toddler?
As I wiggled my foot with the chronically sore heal and broken toe (I broke my middle toe a few weeks ago while tripping on the Xbox drum set that I confiscated from my tween), I realized that this was just the beginning to the aches and pains that I will feel in this second part of my life. As I adjusted my body to pull the baby back into place between us, I felt the sharp back pain where my old lady hump MIGHT be someday ...
For the 1st time in my life, I admitted to "self" that "I am getting old" and hurried out of bed in fear that I wouldn't be able to get up because of old age.
I changed the baby's diaper and started my day thinking that I need to get "things" done. I though about all of the little things that I want to accomplish today, as well as the fun things and business goals that I have planned for the rest of my life. As I played this "things game", I realized that this must be what people go through when they are turning 40 years old. WEIRD!!! I thought it would be a body crumbling and "how do I look" thing ... HUM, I guess it is :)
Aside of the "girls" being deflated from nursing again and the "baby fat" that I am trying to work down ... I know that I do not look 40 years old, but ...
My Uncle in Law's jaw hit the floor when I told him how old I was going to be 40 this summer. He stuttered an "What? I would never have guessed you were that old maybe 30" and I sighed in relief because I do not want to look like that 40 year old I felt sorry for when I was in my 20s. My husbands cousin said that she "did not realize you were almost 40. I was thinking 31 or 32 ... having a hubby face hides any wrinkles" ... OK, that works for me, but what about when my baby weight is gone? My husband is always impressed that I "do not have crows feet at all" and one of my best friends always brags that "we do not look our age" ... Yadada! Yadada! Yadada! All I can do is sigh at the words.
I am afraid that I will wake up with Hillary Clinton eyes one day soon ... YUCK!
Today, none of this matters because my sore foot and aching back told me "what's up". So did the circles under my eyes that met me in the mirror this morning. They are from a whole year of NO SLEEP from a baby boy that likes to make sure that we are still watching out for him 2 to 5 times a night ... "Uh, I KNOW that I'm getting too old for this!". I am going to have thinning black eyes if he doesn't start to sleep at night soon. On the other hand, I am so glad that he stopped nursing before those 4 molars came in this month. I had black eyes, sore foot, aching back and throbbing nipples towards the end of his nursing days ... I assure you that sore and leaking REALLY makes you feel old!!! Anyways, now that he is not nursing and a year old, I am ready to get my sexy back for sure. Moms, I am open to product suggestion for these under eyes of mine, too ... You can go ahead and put this in my comment section - I promise that I will not write another BAD COMMENTING post if you leave an eye miracle product in my comment section!
What Do My 80 year old Grandparents Think Each Morning?
The only thought that calmed me today was remembering my Grandparents and distant Aunt Jo. All are well in their 80s and self-sufficient. My Grandparents drive and visit the office (casino) at least once a month (sometimes until a good 6:00 a.m.). Aunt Jo still travels abroad ... WOW. I remembered how my Grandfather used to tell me that "we come from a line of long livers ... you better take care of yourself". I have since confirmed that he meant that our family members live to be 80 to 100 years old; not that my liver organ was long and needed special care as I grew older ... duh! I remembered how my Grandmother said that she was "getting to old for this" when I told her that I was pregnant with my 1st child and "really getting to old for this" when I told her that I was pregnant with my 2nd child. Meanwhile, she was older than I am when I was born and she sure looked beautiful and took excellent care of me through the years, and caters to my children to this day. Now that I have our baby, she just says that "children are for the young; enjoy him". This is from a woman that maintained a HUGE gardened until she was almost 80 and wears a petite size. There's an argument for veges, chicken, pig feet, chitterlings, dark chocolate, an occasional cocktail and smoke!
C'est la via! I am almost 40 ...
My back feels better once I get out of bed and moving for the day. My bra keeps "the girls" in check; my kids keep me feeling active and younger ... I turn to the oracles for their opinions: My mother's reply to my aches is "How do you think I feel?" and her reply to my looking young "40 was a good age". On the other hand, my step-mother's response, "40 is very young. Appreciate it for how young it is right now so when you turn 60 you don't have to say that you didn't appreciate it when you should have. Follow me ????". I told her that I hope I make it to 60 years old and she said, "You'll make it to 60 and better. Actually 60 is young if you're older." are understandable and confusing to me.
Almost 60 years old? Older than 60 years old?
Hum, I wonder if we are free from judgement if we choose to have a Nip / Tuck around 60 years old! I sure have nothing bad to say about Cher when it comes to that! She must have REALLY felt 40 years old knocking on her door. On the other hand, I know this is the way that God intends it to be. I would not have been able to have my 3rd son if He did not think that I should have a baby at 38 1/2 years old. I grew up with the first two sons and I will grow older with this baby. I will grow old with this husband of mine.
Ecclesiastes 3 also comes to mind this morning ... Praise God!
Ecclesiastes 3: A TIME FOR EVERYTHING
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What does the worker gain from his toil?
10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the
hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy
and do good while they live.
13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil
--this is the gift of God.
14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it
and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.
16 And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment
--wickedness was there, in the place of justice--wickedness was there.
17 I thought in my heart, "God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed."
18 I also thought, "As for men, God tests them so that they may see
that they are like the animals.
19 Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both:
As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no
advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the
same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.
21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal
goes down into the earth?"
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because
that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?
In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child