Boating & Swimming With The Manatee | Central Florida | Wordless Wednesday

In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

The Girl Effect - Help Spread The Word

Watch the other video and learn how to "spread the word"
about the importance of The Girl Effect @ Viral Marketing Mom blog.

In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

Dirty Laundry | I'm Airing My Dirty Laundry

OK, MOMMIES ... I'M AIRING MY DIRTY LAUNDRY TODAY ... CAN YOU RELATE?

For once, in a very long time, I have finished ALL of the laundry before more made it into the laundry basket. WOO HOO!!! We go through a massive amount of laundry; especially bibs, bed pads, washing rags and towels since the baby was born. My younger son always has laundry because he has always included clean clothes in his basket after cleaning his room (those clothes that were hidden in the closet or on the floor after he testes what he wanted to wear for the day, though did not fold the rejected outfits and place them back in his drawer). He has finally stopped doing this and I am glad. I felt like Super Mom after the curtains and the very last blanket had been washed. I took pride in folding all of those little bibs, rolling the socks and lining up the skinny jeans for the week.

SO WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? WHY WRITE THIS DIRTY LAUNDRY BLOG POST???

I walked into our bedroom to put clothes away (mind you that I have been up since 6:30 A.M. and it is now 8:30 A.M.) to find that my "baby's daddy" had 2 pairs of socks and a pair of sweat pants on the floor (his side of the bed). As I sit here writing this blog post, the Psycho movie theme and a picture of the woman screaming comes to mind. THAT is how I felt at that time: 1) he has laundry on the floor and 2) he is STILL sleeping while I have been doing laundry. As my friend's mother used to say, "WHERE IS THE JUSTICE"???

So, I took a quick peak in my 12 year old's room (he typically has laundry hidden in closets and under the bed NO MATTER how many video games he loses). Would you believe that I only found the PJ bottom that he went to bed in last night (must have gotten hot in his sleep). GOOD BOY!!! For once in his life, he is starting to take care of his room and listening to my "nagging". He even insisted that I start teaching him how to wash his own laundry yesterday. That is commendable for a pre-teen boy that whines when he has to do yard work and typically takes a month to clean his room ... another WOOT WOOT is in order here for the boy that loves his mama enough to try to keep the laundry coming! :)

WHY THE BIG DEAL OVER TWO PAIRS OF SOCKS AND SWEAT PANTS???

By 8:33 A.M., I realized that I really did not get all of the dirty laundry done. I FELT SO DEFEATED. I wanted to kick those socks and pants out the window. In fact, as the original Dirty Laundry lyrics go ... I wanted to wake him up and tell him to "Eat your dirty laundry" ...

THEN I REMEMBERED THAT LIFE AS A MOMMY AND WIFEY IS SIMILAR TO THE DISHES IN THE SINK ... THERE IS ALWAYS MORE LAUNDRY TO DO :)

DIRTY LAUNDRY ...
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around


In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

Pre-Teens, Teens | Boys & Moms

WHAT DO MY PRE-TEEN, TEEN AND I HAVE IN COMMON? BLACK COMES TO MIND ...

Well, since they are my sons, I would have to say that we have a ton of things in common. I am aware of our similarities, but I am sure that I've overlooked some commonalities through the years ... As of today, the color BLACK comes to mind and inspires me to write this blog post for other moms of teens and pre-teens; especially those judging kids dressed in black these days. They are not all Emo, Punk Rock and Goth influenced teens / pre-teens.

YES ... BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK! BLACK!

As I was helping my pre-teen put away laundry and organize his dresser drawers, I noticed that he had SO MANY black items in his room. There are a ton of black clothes, hats, shoes, sheets, pillow cases, comforter, wrist bands, etc) and one pair of white sneakers with red and blue stitching. We just purchased these shoes, so they are a new addition to his wardrobe. Aside of some colorful "hand me downs" from his teen brother, my tween's personal wardrobe selections had really transitioned to dark colors over the years. The black is obviously the majority, but there are a few dark grays, hinter green and navy items. I guess this is not such a big deal to most, but it REALLY got me thinking!!!

"IF YOU DO WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE,
YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN"

Although my older son was adamant about wearing black or navy blue hoodies - instead of a coat - by 8th grade, he has always been on the more colorful side. He did eventually trade in the "all black" and "all blue" hoodies for more stylish designs ... Regardless, the point is that his apparel did not transition too dramatically by middle school and high school years. I do remember his refusing to wear cargo type pants in 6th grade, but he now takes pride when dressing up or in a relaxed style.

WHAT IN THE HECK IS THE POINT HERE ... ?

My point being that there were not dramatic indicators that my oldest son had reached his pre-teen / teen years. I was kind of oblivious to the fact that we would have some REALLY challenging stages throughout those pre-teen and teen those years. He appeared to be the same, colorful, fella from 6th grade to 10th grade ... that is until he began refusing to play the sports that he had always loved. We soon had more conflicts in the home; his activity and friend choices transitioned quite a bit, too. Keeping in mind that he went from private school to homeschooling in the 6th grade and then public schools thereafter, there were obviously a lot of influences in the pre-teen and teen years.

LOL, LOOKS LIKE THIS NEW TWEEN OF MINE HAS BEEN CHANGING SINCE THE END OF 4TH GRADE AND WENT ALL BLACK BY THE MIDDLE OF 6TH GRADE.

My middle son has had a few changes in interests over the past year and a little attitude has peaked since Christmas, but all in all he has been the same to me. I guess it would have been more put he began homeschooling around Christmas ... This has permitted me to keep closer watch on his activities, friend choices and newly developed interests (which have just been few new interests as he has always been rather fixated on the same things). Regardless, he was making some not so great friend choices and showing changes in his interest well before my 1st son started to gravitate to the "darker" subjects, music and trends. Does this mean that his transition in adulthood will move faster, too?

AS I SORTED THE TOO SMALL CLOTHES FROM WHAT FITS, GOT THE SUMMER CLOTHES AND COMPARED WHILE I PUT HIS LAUNDRY AWAY IN THE DRAWERS ...

I noticed that, although my pre-teen has already made some darker choices over the past year and 1/2, those shiny white shoes REALLY stood out to me. I could then see how many other colorful t-shirts he has been wearing over the past 6 months, as well as how many new responsibilities he has taken with stride as we are trying to prepare him for adulthood (yard work, caring for the dog, accepting and wanting to help with his baby brother, not arguing about having to home school, etc).

I FELT SO RELIEVED!!! NOT BLINDED BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THERE IS MORE TO COME, BUT CONFIDENT THAT THIS 2ND RUN WILL GO MORE SMOOTHLY ...

I know that my teen and tween are very different people (oil and vinegar in some ways), but they are my boys and we all have a lot of similarities. I had some rough teen years and never expected that my children would experience the same because I planned to notice and handle things better than my parents. All I can say now is ...

"C'EST LA VIA" ...

I suppose that I better start going though my post pregnancy clothing. I have REALLY taken to wearing a lot of black to slim out the chunky areas and feel more comfortable while getting puked on :) Hum, now that I put it that way ... I guess that I understand "goth" and "emo" a little better these days!!! Meanwhile, I should have remembered because it was "punk" when I was a teen :)

I GUESS MANY "FADE TO BLACK" AT LEAST ONE TIME IN LIFE!!!


In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

Homeschooling ... Again!

To Homeschool - OR - Not To Homeschool ... 

Well, here we go again ... I have a great kid that is sometimes picked on by teachers and other kids because he has some "special needs". He does OK at school and making friends, but I want more for him than "No Child Left Behind" as a crutch the classrooms use to let him pass by. Unfortunately, he had to transfer him to a new middle school when we moved to a new community. I had no concern because it is in a decent area and just a few minutes from home. BOY was I wrong about this one. In less than two weeks, he was forced to protect himself during gym class and the teacher did not even know that there was a fight in his class. Plus, two  different students offered my son drugs and cigarettes at school. Yes, all are pre-teens in the 6th grade ... My son said that he did not even know their names.

I thank God that he still reports these types of situations at home!

The irony is that I dare not make my son point out these kids and have the school both the teacher and the kids that fought him and offered him drugs. They will torture him for the rest of the year (trust me, I have years of experience in such matters). Meanwhile, now that my son is in 6th grade, no one makes sure that he is OK, though he is supposed to be somewhat protected by an IEP and ESE seclusion. I've had enough!  At this point in life, I understand why Christian homeschool parents are so adamant about secluding their children ... it is not that they think they are better ... they do not want to hope  that their children will rise above the influence. They are making sure that their children are not just getting throne to the wolves in a contradictory educational system and world. For example, if my son tells that he was bullied and fought back, he will get in trouble for not telling someone before he had action in it. Meanwhile, I have never heard of a fight stopping for a child to tell and then come back to deal with the situation as the school wants them to do.  There have been numerous occasions when he has told me that he does not tell the teachers or counselors anything, anymore, because they do not do anything to make situations better. It just gets worse and he does not want to risk an even more of an uncomfortable situation.

Yes, I understand that kids experience these challenges on a daily basis ... 

When my older son was in 6th grade, I chose to pull him out to homeschool. He had always been in very small, private, schools and was not transitioning well in his first year of public school (6th grade year). Aside of some emotional immaturity issues, there were some pretty nasty teachers that would not help him adjust in their classes and kids that tired to challenge him "the new kid". This really bummed me out because I moved our family to that community because the schools had upper percentile ranks and was surrounded by other excellent (upper percentile) school districts ...

My older son homeschooled for 6th grade. I subsided to pressure from family and friends, as well as his pleading to the same ... he went back to school the following year (7th grade) ... he made plenty of friends, but he never did fit in with the school and teachers. A lot went down hill after this year and he actually ended back in homeschool by 10th grade.

YOU CAN STILL CONTROL YOUR CHILD UP UNTIL A CERTAIN AGE (PRETEEN YEARS), AND THEN IT IS TOUCH AND GO ...BY HIGH SCHOOL ... PEER PRESSURE CAN CAPTURE THE BEST OF THEM! 

My second son in now in 6th grade. It has been quite a challenging year and I assure you that even the best public schools in Tampa Bay do not compare to even the mid range school districts in Pittsburgh. Regardless, we had a decent Tampa elementary school experience for the second half of 5th grade (when we moved here) and a frustrating, though safe middle school for the 1st half of the year, BUT WE MOVED to a different part of town at Christmas time. It is a quiet area, but the school is rough. In fact, my son was in a fight during gym class and the teacher did not even know that it occurred in the class. On the other hand, other 6th graders were exposing him to drugs and cigarettes at school ... when he came home explaining how large the bags of drugs were, I pulled this second child out to protect him from what my older son fell into by the end of middle school. In this case, I am not letting anyone talk me into putting him back into a Tampa public school. Aside of these issues, there were always details where he needed more help at school, but the school was treating him like all of the other kids though his IEP and needs would warrant more help. Focusing is not a strength of his, therefore he developed some adaptive skills that were unnecessary if he had some help. For example, he would wear his gym clothes under his clothes (no matter how bulky) or carry them in his backpack if needed because it takes him more time to open a combination locker than the other kids. If he used the locker, then he would be late for class and was too embarrassed to ask for help. There are other examples, but you get the point.

Considering my experiences with pre-teens and teens over the past few years, hearing what other parents explain as their experiences and my obsession with national stats on the subject ... I think that our public educational system fails children after the elementary years; this applies to some private school systems, too. This is much more than the old China vs USA stats ... In a simpler effort, if you take a look at School Matter and start comparing the elementary, middle and grade school scores, you can see a little pattern of how the decrease occurs even in good school districts. Check throughout the nation and you will see some saddening results.

The United States would be better if they would restructure the educational system to better prepare children for the middle school transition. It would help to break middle and high schools up into smaller schools of 5th and 6th, 7th and 8th, 9th and 10th, 11th and 12th. all separate schools ... Additionally, what these school districts fail to understand is that sending a 6th grader to school with 8th graders is as ugly as sending a 9th grader to school with 12th graders. For the first 1/2 of 6th grade, my son would tell me how an 8th grade couple would "make out" between the boy and girl gym lockers. He thought it was funny and it made me remember what it was like in the Middle School (I transferred from private school to a public school in 8th grade) and not only were we with the 6th and 7th graders, we had a lot of space to roam in the school as well. We even rode the bus with the younger children and they flocked to us as if they were 8th graders too ... the reality is that they were NOT into what we were into, they just hung with us enough to get the exposure.

Most younger children are watching and aspiring to become one of the popular "upper class men" and, although 6th grade is only 2 years or 3 years apart from 8th or 9th grade, there are huge developmental and maturation gaps between the ages. This is the same for 9th and 12th graders. In addition to this, the busing systems, in certain counties and communities is just NUTS! Also, why do they put kindergarteners on the bus with 3rd and 4th graders? Why do they put middle schoolers on the bus with high schoolers? This is not the case in our school district, but I have researched certain areas and this is how some of their busing structures work ...

It is like setting the children up for peer pressure and academic failure.

Things are so bad right now that it makes no sense to put our kids "to the test" by keeping them in schools where teachers are not paying attention and are more focused on making sure they pass state testing then watching out for their flocks. Additionally, alcohol and drug usage, depression and peer pressure are obviously ignored and undetected. It is a constant battle for a "good kid" to stay clear of peer pressure and quietly abide by teachers who are pressure to get students to pass a test that will save their jobs ...

The virtual school programs are fantastic for those who are able to stay home or can hire someone to help their children do well at homeschooling. Although you can only shelter but so long and homeschool children need socialization, it is a heck of a lot better when you can help them avoid some of the negative experiences and surround them with children that are like them, and teachers that actually help when needed.

Do you believe in homeschooling or public school education? Share your experiences, opinion and / or tips for other parents that are considering homeschooling!



In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child