Starting Over Is Not Easy ... Mother Baby Child Blog
I was over 35 when I gave birth to Baby Max. My middle son was 11 years old and my older son had just turned seventeen. It wasn't easy starting over again ... Mother Baby Child is a blog to share parenting experiences, as well as what marriage is like after being a single mom for so many years. Get info on having a baby, raising children, babies, tweens, teens, homeschooling, mom blogs, work at home mom. business marketing, Christian and celebrity moms blog posts.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. ~ Philippians 4:13 (KJV)
Happy Resurrection Weekend - Good Friday & Easter Day 2012
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. ~ John 3:16
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” ~ John 11:25-26
Crucifixion of Jesus & Resurrection of Jesus Christ
As a child, these were the most influential scriptures in my life. Grab your child's Bible and read to him / her or here us a Crucifixion & Resurrection video for older children. Christmas and Easter are the times of the year when smaller children can relate best to the blessing of the birth of Jesus and sacrifice of his death; this will make Jesus more real than Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Not to take away their fun, but to make a lasting impression of the love of God and WHY we celebrate the life and death of Jesus Christ.
This is not a radical anti-establishment / horrible Monsanto post, that will come later. Mine is a story of guilt and anger over processed foods, genetically altered, pesticide & fast foods ... How could we let them do this to us? How could I ignore the facts and God's will?
I have struggled with my weight since having children (18 years ago). This is not because I didn't eat my veges or couldn't lose weight, but that the "bad foods" always took over my willpower; especially when it came to choosing which foods to buy according to our budget (I love a good deal) and portion sizes. As a result, it would take me years to lose weight after having a baby. I also fed my family professed foods, genetically altered foods, fast foods, corn syrup and pesticide infected meats and vegetables that I thought were healthy.
Sustainable Food Movement - Pesticide Free / Healthy Organic Foods Movement
This chapter of my life is titled "My Personal Struggle". It involves guilt ridden realizations that motivated me into taking responsibility for the food choices that I have made for my family and dedication to breaking the cycle.
It really broke my heart when my husband gave our baby a hotdog for the first time. I swore that I wasn't going to do "THAT" to "THIS" child, but who cold blame him? I fed the baby a chicken nugget, crackers and cookies, so many times, and gave him toddler baby formula (soy) after he weaned from breastfeeding. In fact, I put the hotdogs on the store list despite knowing that they are not good for us (even our preferred store bought beef hotdogs). Prior to this baby, my entire family and I have been feeding children and eateneating "bad foods" for generations. It was only my step mother's health obsession (as I was growing up), my grandparent's gardening and fostering my love of vegetables, my mother's "fat" prejudice and going to the farmer's market when I was young, that confirm that I am right about how I feel regardless of whether I ever read an article, food label or warning about the type of food we eat in the United States. Ironically, it was also these family members that embraced processed foods, fad dieting, chemicals, pesticides, fast food, etc, as fell as fostering larger food portions, eating everything on my plate whether I was fool or not, and sweet foods made from unhealthy flours, sugars, etc. I would never blame them because that is how life transpired as we became more industrial in this nation, but they could have done better despite the food fads (like turning off the TV and educating themselves on how to keep "things" as simple as what they had learned from family members on the farms and remembered from their radio listening childhoods. Instead of preserving the "old school" and flower child ideals, they sold out to the bigger, larger, more is better, brainwashing that our corporations and government has supported for decades!
Healthy Food & Lifestyle | Taking Responsibility & Making Changes
I heard the "rumors" about genetically altered foods; knew the benefits of exercising and eating healthy, since I was a child. I know that cigarettes cause cancer, as well as Aspartame and other chemicals in our foods. I remember reading about the first case of BSE when I was a kid (1980s) and especially the Mad Cow Disease epidemic in 1993 because that was when my son was born. It wasn't long after that my mother bought 1/2 a cow from an organic farm near our city and gave me plenty to last. My guilt is in knowing all of the basic health information and ignoring it, as well as not researching and learning more about the "rumors" ... especially since I was a biology student for so many years. I have no excuse for not feeding my children natural / organic foods except for the fact that it was easier, cheaper and, sometimes, more fun to be irresponsible about our health. I also have no excuse for all of the years of smoking, drinking and, various forms of, gluttony after having children. I was just sick with regret for all of the years that I let my children eat processed foods and fast foods, and then anger for feeding them pesticide foods that I thought were good for us once I decided to drop the other bad foods and make more healthy choices.
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Even non-Christians know this scripture quote about our body being temple, yet we ignore it as easily as we ignore God's other instructions and laws. It starts from the top of the food chain and ends in our hearts. The problem that we are having (others and my family) is that the government and corporations have made it virtually impossible to go "back to basics" in this world. I am not only referring to our food sources, but also the generations of change in products, utilities and leadership in this nation.
My husband and I have been making changes since the beginning of this year. It started with childhood and adult experience, listening to people trying to educate us on what is wrong and right according to the Bible, health, etc. I sat and watched Fresh The Movie when they made it available online and free in January 2012. I highly recommend attending a viewing or buying this movie if you can ... it is safe enough for children to watch and educational for those who are interested in a healthier way of life. The problem that I have had since watching Fresh The Movie is the extreme guilt of what I have done to my body and the health of those I love, as well as anger towards the impact of media, corporations and government for the choices they have made for us. For example, soy, potatoes, tomatoes, apples, corn, ice cream, pet food, etc. genetically engineered? Why is our infant formula, flour, syrup, oil, pet food, processed foods, etc made with non conventional ingredients? Why does a bottle of vitamin C taste like salt, plus have sodium and Yellow 6 in it? Why does Monsanto's genetically engineered bovine growth hormone (rBGH) infect meats, dairy and pesticides on the vegetables needed to eat and make flour, corn meal, coffee, etc. Why does our local food get shipped to other states and out of the country ... why do we eat imported foods when the exact same foods are exported from our country?
Most importantly ... why is it so hard to find and buy organic foods; especially 100% organic local foods and at the same market value as the "bad foods" that companies and the government approves for us? Why can't I find non-GMO (GMO - Genetically Motified Food) in some cases? Why does the government let Monsanto have such control over our foods and fund industrial farming? I even have to screen every single farmer and take tours in order to buy local organic foods. In many cases, such as pork and certain vegetables, only natural is available and this upsets me.
Change is not easy! On the other hand, it should not be this difficult for those who chose to shop for natural / organic food and products. Our family is making this change despite the costs and time; including growing some of our own foods, exercise and educating our other family members. I am wondering if you have been considering or have made the change to Organic Foods and healthier life changes? Please comment below and follow at networks; I will follow back so that we can learn and share with one another.
Please make sure to register at http://www.freshthemovie.com to learn more about the sustainable food movement and how you can improve the quality of food that you are feeding your family, too!
My son's craft table ... He says "that's not mess", so I agree it is not :)
This has been "one of those" weeks ... It was not a bad week; we accomplished a lot, though my husband and I were quite busy with so many family, business and household details. This included the kitchen sink breaking again. Our baby was in a walker splashing in 2 inches of water the last time it happened to us. Fortunately, my hubby got the sink fixed quickly this time and with just a few wet towels to haunt me. All of the "things to do" made me feel like we were a "tag team" ... Hum, saying that must mean that my single mom mindset is finally shifting to a married mindset ... working together being the newer concept here :) Regardless, I'm glad to finally have a moment to write a "real" blog post - opposed to just a few quick lines - to keep in touch with everyone.
OK! NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO GET A DRINK AND USE THE BATHROOM ... THIS IS A LONG BLOG POST THAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO GET THROUGH ALL AT ONCE :)
TALENT & THE TALENTED HAVE BEEN HEAVY ON MY MIND THIS WEEK
Towards the middle of the week, my 12 year old son started getting frustrated with his school work. This is not abnormal for him and is part of the reason why we home school. On the other hand, he is an extremely bright and articulate boy. It is only that the ADHD ... ASD ... ODD gets in the way of progress when he gets in "THAT" mood. He is still doing all right with his grades, though does not have the same enthusiasm for learning as he has had up until now. I feel like he's been worn down by the years of dredging through a traditional educational system. All was well until he went to middle school. I actually moved him from a private school to a middle class public school system because they worked with children that have needs that are similar to his. Unfortunately, we moved to the south and the "rules" changed by Middle School. There were no more small classes, no more personalized lesson plans and classroom aids to assist the teachers, no more caring teachers, more emphasis on passing FCATS then the students learning well, etc.). I decided to home school my son a few years ago, and this is much better for him because our public educational system has no consideration of individuals. The requirements are cut and dry instead of how wonderful school would be if they incorporated better use of technology and the arts for children that are more tactile learners. Not a Waldorf educational system, but with a similar concept. I think THAT would be perfect for kids with ADHD. It upsets me that we have little choice in the matter :(
I am not angry because of what he struggles with daily: focusing, restlessness, hyperactivity and a lot of impulsive Tourette's-Like arguments throughout the day. He is getting better with age despite the teen hormones setting in. What upsets me is that he is capable of doing the school work, though gets caught up in all of his creative projects. I want him to pursue those interests, though not lose sight of the value of education that contributes to the artistic strengths.
The problem is that the ADHD makes it hard to remain focused on academics especially when he is being taught in a way that does not utilize the natural talents. IF TAUGHT THE WAY THEY LEARN (process information), one might think a child w/ ADHD had no problem focusing at all.
So, when he gets in an educational slump or "too frustrated", as he says, I try to motivate him through different activities. They are unscheduled and not in the home school curriculum, so he gets REALLY excited to hang out with mom this way :) It just so happened that talent and the talented were the motivation this time. It is a subject that is always of interest to him, but has been everywhere that I have been online this week. I can't help but wonder if God is trying to speak to me about it. I know that I need to lift this in prayer, but I am kind of scared to know what it has been about.
Have you ever felt that way? Where you want clarity, though are not sure what "knowing better" will entail? This is where I am at right now ...
Regardless, the point of this blog post is teaching children with ADHD to focus on their education as well as their interests and talents (this applies to kids with related disorders / disabilities, too). In fact, all people need the combination of both in order to see, believe, conceive and achieve their greatness in life. For some reason, my son acts like he does not see that his school work contributes to being the best at his talents / interests, so I am always trying to reach him about it. It is not that huge of an issue at this point because I know that he is being rebellious, but I do not want it to become more of a problem as we are approaching the teen years and school becomes harder ... right now, his viewpoint is similar to his not seeing the importance of cleaning his room. None-the-less, education is obviously important in life.
I turned to YOUTUBE for help with this issue. I do this often with him because YouTube is a site that most pre-teens love to browse. It is filled with talented people that can motivate a youth, though parents still need to supervise at this age because there is a lot of undesirable entertainment there, too. We always come across "raw talent" buried among the millions of videos. We've watched videos that explain his math the way he needs to learn it, as well as children that have taught themselves instruments, clay animation, parkour. There are just tons of tutorials for what he is interested in and this makes education fun for my son with ADHD. I chose what we watched this week, though other times it works out that he takes the lead and shows me his favorites.
We watched this video of a 2 1/2 year old toddler showing that he understood the concepts of physics and chemistry:
We were both impressed and amazed by this toddler's comprehension. This goes above and beyond children who have benefited from Your Baby Can Read and Signing Times; the father obviously works in this field and is training this child to follow in his foot steps. It makes one wonder whether we all have this scientific capability if exposed so young in life.
We also watched the following Jackie Evancho YouTube videos:
Video #1 - Summarizes the first part of her competition.
Video #2 - My favorite of her performances and shares a little about her life.
Video #3 - She returns to sing on America's Got Talent a year after traveling and developing her talent.
Jackie Evancho was the 2010 America's Got Talent 2nd Semi-finals at 10 years old and the top selling classical artist in 2011 at 11 years old. Her Dream With Me album was produced by David Foster and features duets with Barbara Streisand and Susan Boyle. It is beautiful!
What did my son get from watching Jackie Evancho?
The obvious is that she has such a gorgeous voice for such a young girl, but she is also from his hometown. That was cool.
What did I point out?
Well I learned and pointed out a lot by watching this talented child's adventure into stardom, but here are some of the main pointers:
In video #1 she confesses that she practiced a lot for the semi finalists, but in video 2, she explains that she regularly only practices once a day for one hour. This was HUGE for my son. That you can accomplish your goals by just practicing once a day, but I had to explain to him that the reality is that, although she sang for once an hour a day, she had to invest much more time and energy than one hour a day. She had to understand the music she read and sang; she had to learn languages or at least how to pronounce the lyrics correctly in each song; Jackie Evancho also had to learn obedience (to bite her tongue, listen well, follow instructions) and humbleness in order to get that far and accomplish so much towards living her dream. Her home training and academic education was important to her accomplishing her goals.
It is not easy to keep going - be in the spot light - perform on demand, though all of these were necessary for what she wanted to accomplish. I told my son that he has / will have the same requirements in life whether he choose it or not. His education will contribute to more than just the basics (certain subjects permit him to communicate, work and function in life), as well as how to be the best at whatever he does.
Lastly, In explained to my child with ADHD that if he wants to be the best video game player - or - the best skateboarder - or - the best costume designer - or the best props artist - or the best architect OR WHATEVER (these examples are towards my son's interests, but plug anything for your child) ... He better learn to be the best at educating himself in order to accomplish what makes him the best at his interests.
This is much easier said than done ...
It is not as if our educational system teaches our children according to their interests and talents. If they did, more kids would become less bored and detached from their educational process. This is why I like homeschooling so much. It is challenging at times, but there is flexibility even if you use a program that develops the curriculum for you. I think that "the key" for teaching children with ADHD how to focus on their education is to provide them time to focus on their interests and incorporate them into thier individual education plans. Not only does this strengthen their academics, but fosters all developmental areas.
Now, if I could just get the next few years of my son's school subjects into musical composition and the types of video games he likes, I think that would stop the grey hairs from those Tourette's-Like arguments :)
UPDATE - January 16, 2012 - ironically, 60 Minutes featured 13 year old Math prodigy, Jake Barnett, last night. I don't catch this show often, so I was delighted and again, this is another situation of being blatantly exposed to talent as I mentioned above. I am pointing this out because this young man will graduate college by age 14 and enter graduate school thereafter ... he attributes his intellectual talents to autism and is proud to be autistic.
60 Minutes Aired Coverage On Jake Barnett
Behing The Scenes Coverage on Jake Barnett
I suggest that parents of children with Asperger's and ADHD - although different disorders from a similar spectrum - to watch this additional video - ABOVE 2nd VIDEO - and realize that their child's mind is driven by the limbic system which includes memory in cases (yes, even children with ADHD can have this capability, by 2nd son always got As in spelling, so long as he was given the words orally); starts with teaching them how to focus on their education and talents.
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
This prayer fills my mind and heart as I sit here this morning.
I feel like some things are right, though know that there has been a lingering "there's something wrong" for quite some time ... there has been uncertainty and hurt ... there has been understanding and joy. On another note, I always strive for change for the better / improvement, but maybe too much? It is extremely difficult to have that serenity when it feels like something is not right ... that it may not be God's will, but you do not know for sure. I am praying for wisdom because I do trust that God will make all right. I hope that will be "it" when that time comes. If you are reading this, please keep me in your prayers.
Happy New Year | 2012 New Year Message & No Resolutions List
"For eleven months and maybe about twenty days each year, we concentrate upon the shortcomings of others, but for a few days at the turn of New Year we look at our own. It is a good habit." ~ Arthur H. Sulzberger
2012 New Year is here and I am already tired. Just kidding! I have been chasing my little 1 year old all over the house. It is quite fun, though much more exercise than my old bones expected ... I thought that I would be taking it easy this month because, as I explained in my previous post, 2011 was a fast paced year. I had our baby on 12/27/ 2010 and went full force with all that goes with the baby's 1st year of development, plus 1) moved to a new home, 2) homeschooled my tween, 3) continued to work from home and 4) write this Mother Baby Child Blog in my free time. That was quite a lot in the 2011 year, therefore I am grateful to move at my own professional pace this January 2012 while playing with our 1 year old as much as I can, but I am not taking it easy as expected and this is the point of my New Year Message. Sometimes, things just do not go as we plan, therefore you have to embrace the plans that God has for you.
"Let go, and let God!"
As I sat here wondering what my New Year's Resolutions should be ... should it be another year of EVERYTHING as wrote on the last New Years Resolution list ... LOL, I know better this year. It will be a piece of cake to keep up with 2012 resolutions because I have no list ... AH HA HA HA !!! What I have is a routine that works for me - one developed prior to getting pregnant with our baby - that I have adjusted for the baby's developmental needs. How about you? Do you feel the need to make a new list of goals or are you carrying out the one's you've had?
Keeping to the "Resolution List" does seem to be the delimma this time of year ... Doesn't it? I guess I am resolving to not having that list this year!
As the New Year quote above states, it is a "good habit" to turn our forcus on ourselves at the beginning of the new year. The challenge that most have is in keeping that focus as the 2012 year progresses. I have always been a goal oriented person, though I am getting older (almost 40) and the 2011 year has shown me that I REALLY have minimal control over what God has in store for me. Yes, I wake with the goals / tasks that need accomplished for the day, week, month and "handle my business each day", but I have LEARNED that my focus will not collapse if I stop to have unscheduled "mat time" with my baby when I thought that I should be blogging, programming or networking. The same for listening to music with my teen or homeschool an hour later in the morning. All works out just fine in either case. This is not how I planned it to be nor a goal on any past year's resolution list, yet all got done and life changing goals were accomplished.
"The best laid plans of mice and men ..."
We all should have short term and long term goals in life ... just make sure that you're being realistic! Don't add anything new if you can't handle it and, as the old saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Tune in to what God has in store for you this 2012 year opposed to what you think should be the plan. You'll be surprised what you learn and accomplish in a years time.
Happy 2012 New Year to all of my friends and family; social network and blog followers. I am REALLY looking forward to connecting more with you this year. Hugs & Blessings :)
I am so glad that she posted the Five Minute Friday word early because I am up very late and extremely tired, though looking forward to it :) Ironically, the word we're writing about is ... TIRED.
December has crept up on me this year and no wonder. This has been a REALLY busy year. Last December, we moved into our "temporary" house (long story) just days before Christmas and having the baby. My family arrived, from out of town, just in time to open presents, eat an amazing Christmas dinner, clean up and take me to the hospital to have our baby.
We moved again just a few months after I had the baby and it has taken all of these months to settle into our new home and community while nursing baby, homeschooling, unpacking, entertaining, cooking, cleaning and working my behind off (wish it was literally) on client and personal projects. It has been a busy year and I am tired.
Not nearly as tired as before ...
Not as tired as when I moved to Florida and started all over.
Not as tired as when I was as a single mother trying to do it all alone.
Not as tired as when I was of fighting and crying over a rebellious son.
Not as tired as when I was when I worked two jobs as a mother and in school.
Not as tired as when I was pleading for special support classes for my son.
Not as tired as I was when I finally got tired of taking the bus, in the snow, with my son, and begging people to help me get my drivers license at 25.
Not as tired as I was as a new mommy on welfare trying to make ends meet.
Not as tired as when I left home as a teenager.
Not as tired as when I used to lay in bed and wonder about my mom.
Now that I think about it, I am not nearly as tired as I thought that I was ...
How could I not praise the Lord for such a difference?
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~ Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
In Motherly Love, Mother Baby Child
This blog post was inspired by Five Minute Friday: Grateful
"Grateful" is the word for this Five Minute Friday and so appropriate for the day after Thanksgiving :) I am grateful for the good, the bady and the ugly :)
I am a grateful person by nature, but I am feeling even more gratitude for all of the blessings in my life. I am grateful for my beautiful family; this includes the new family members my husband and I have acquired through marriage. It really has extended the value of "family" for all of us; especially for my baby and 12 year old. We are all now related; Moms, Dads, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Parents and Grandparents shared where they were missing before in someone's line. This is not uncommon for my husband and me as our families were extended this way during childhood, but this is a special blessing to my tween son that gets all excited when we hear from the Uncle Bob or Cousin Rachel that he did not have a few years ago. Cousin Rachel had a baby a few days after Max was born, so he has a cousin to grow up with and they live close to us. It is so endearing and I am grateful for all of their loving spirits.
I used to be a hard head ... I am grateful for God's grace and lessons.
Although my life has had SO MANY challenges, the Lord has always and continues to provide abundantly; especially in love, compassion and necessities. Difficult times have been drowned out with contentment and understanding that situations ARE how they ARE because of God's will and not mine. My spiritual walk has included knee dropping times where I used to "freak out", though have learned to embrace with a humble spirit. I am grateful to have had those experiences, too, because they have made me the woman, mother, friend, associate ... that I have grown and continue to become to others in my life. Not always easy, but times of learning and change; not to freak out and lose hope, but to pray and be grateful that my Father in heaven loves me enough to take me through and see me through to the end.
Yep ... Grateful!
P.S. On a lighter note, I am grateful that I am not Black Friday shopping today ... LOL. I've been watching the nation go crazy while I sit back and plan how to help another mom make this a successful 2011 holiday season or 2012 business year ... this is exciting to me. I am very grateful that I work from home and can do this while being there for my children.
In Motherly Love, Mother Baby Child
This blog post was inspired by Five Minute Friday: Grateful
The Five Minute Friday word of today is "Grow" and many memories come to mind ...
The most profound is when my oldest son was just a few weeks old. My step-father, mother and I had just finished dinner. My parents got up from the dinner table and headed into the living room where my son was sleeping as sweetly as the newborn baby that he was at the time. I cleared the dishes from the table and was ready to help my mother clean the kitchen, so that I could get back to my baby. My mother never made it back into the kitchen, so I ventured on out to the living room to see what she was doing.
As I walked into the room, I could see that my step-father was watching Jeopardy. I looked towards my mother and she was squashed into the corner of her huge sectional. I walked a bit forward to see that she had my newborn baby in her arms. I said "Mom, what are you doing? Don't you want to clean the kitchen?"
She looked up slowly and said "I AM WATCHING HIM GROW" ...
I was a very immature 21 at the time and really didn't understand what she meant. I thought that she was being smart with me because my mother is on the cynical / sarcastic side at times. I was REALLY upset the whole time that I was cleaning HER kitchen while she was holding MY baby ... LOL :)
5 1/2 years later, I gave birth to my second son. I had matured a bit, though the "watching him grow" experience hit home a little bit when my 2nd son was a newborn. Now that I think back, I was very selfish about the time that anyone spent holding him because I was trying to "watch him grow" as I had seen my mother doing that day. In fact, I tried to carefully watch my first and second sons growing up, but I find that I forget a lot of the stuff my 2nd son asks me about when he was a baby "what time was I born?" ... "what was my favorite baby food" ... etc.
As a single mother of two boys, it is not always easy to watch your children "grow" in the same way that a happy nuclear family or grandparent can see because there are obstacles; many that others overlook and do not understand. They can distract a watching mother at times.
Regardless, as I sit writing this Five Minute Friday blog post (where we write freely for 5 minutes based on one word), I am overwhelmed with the opposite emotions that I felt 18 years ago when my mother said, "I am watching him grow". My 3rd child is almost 11 months old and I am just a few years shy of the age that my mother was when I gave birth to my first son. As I watch this little baby grow, I am flooded with love, joy, sadness, pride, hurt ... a potpourri of emotions that I possess for all 3 of my sons and how it felt watching them grow, but that oldest son is a young man that has moved off on his own.
It is hard to remember that we do not raise our children for ourselves; we raise them for God. Our reward is that we get to "watch them grow" spiritually, emotionally, physically and then they are off on their own with God to continue to watch over them.
In Motherly Love, Mother Baby Child
This blog post was inspired by Five Minute Friday: Grow
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10
I have a lot of pictures of my children (as most moms do), but these are some of the most recent and favorite pictures on my computer. I love looking at them because they make me remember that my children do love one another. This is not so much of a concern between my two younger boys, but my oldest and middle son have had a "bitter-sweet" relationship through the years. It has gotten better, but I still pray that they remember to love one another unconditionally as God has instructed. It is an important change for all of us.
My oldest son will turn 18 this month. He has already graduated High School (I am so proud of him) and is transitioning out on his own (which has been his dream since he was in middle school). We've had some troubles over the past few years, but he has "shaped up" so nicely thus far with help from a program that worked with him. I have "shaped up" from the experience and hurt. Anyways, he was 5 1/2 when I had my second son, and although he was proud to be a big brother, he took it hard and started to resent having a brother. He felt as though he needed to compete for my attention (well both of them did), although he did not need to. They were such different children and still are; like oil and vinegar some would say. My second son loved the oldest son unconditionally. He used to say, "I want to be Nate". Nate would say that he wanted to be "an only child" and do things that would hurt him. Regardless, they had a lot of great times through the years and do love one another. It just took and still takes a lot of reminding.
Things are different now that Baby Max is a part of our family. He makes us remember that there is a 3rd brother that loves everyone unconditionally and that is a beautiful bond from the start. Regardless, as I look through these 4 pictures that make me remember 4 things:
Picture #1 No matter how much you fight and get jealous of one another, REMEMBER that you are brothers. I will always remember the day we took this picture because this was one of the only times that you did not give me a hard time about taking pictures and you got along. You were genuinely happy to participate in this family photo session. Your innocence and happiness shown through this day.
Picture #2
You don't look much older, but years have gone by. Remember how much fun you had together this day (hunting alligators, spending quality time together and sleep deprived because of your new baby brother). Remember that you are not just 2 brothers anymore; you are 3 brothers now (3 amigos) and that if I should meet my maker tomorrow ... remember that you will always have one another.
"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them." ~ 1 John 2:9-11
Picture #3
Now you get to be the big brother. You get to be an example and share the unconditional love that you receive. The same love that you have tried to share with your brother over the years ... it is now yours back and it is beautiful to watch. I will try to remember that - to you - this is all of our baby and that you enjoy having a little responsibility during the process, but you need time to be the tween that you are and the teen that you will become in the next few months.
Picture #4
You cut the umbilical cord when this little brother came into this world. Although you are 17 years apart, there will always be a bond between oldest brother and baby brother; this has strengthened the bond between Jonny and you, but remember that Jonny still needs you and looks up to you. Fortunately, he no longer wants to be you and is happy being himself, but he still looks to you for the unconditional love that he gives Max and will always need from you.
I sit and remember the love, hurt, excitement, disappointment, struggles, blessings ... I remember teaching them to turn the other cheek; that God loves us unconditionally; that God wants us to love our neighbor as he loves us; you must love your brother ... As I sit and I remember that God has blessed me with 3 remarkable little boys at stages in my life where I needed to learn and remember his unconditional love. The same unconditional love that he has for us and had for us when he gave his only son, Jesus, to save us from our sins. Thank you for answering my prayers dear Lord. I now understand and will always remember.
It is really hard to sum this all up in 5 minutes, so I will end with a reminder that I can only pray that my sons will love one another unconditionally as God loves us and instructs us to do.
"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." ~ John 15:12
In Motherly Love, Mother Baby Child
This blog post was inspired by Five Minute Friday: Remember
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. - 1 Peter 4:10
Welcome to this Mother Baby Child blog :)
My name is Lea. I am the Christian WAHM to 3 incredible boys (infant, tween and teen) and the wife to one too chatty, though loving hubby. I have been developing on the Internet for more than a decade and it has never become a boring / dead end job to me. I have an extremely long testimony of how God changed my life in this direction so many times; for now, I will let you know that I am grateful that He led in this direction and keeps guiding me. I have had a lot of good times and way too many struggles, but here I have the freedom to do what I love to do (most times) and at the side of my children. This is one of the greatest blessings in my life.
OK, this blog hop is about connecting with one another ...
Lets connect and really get to know one another. It doesn't need to be a "daily thing" unless you really like everything that I am doing and vice versa. On the other hand, it would sure be great to have that choice by connecting though our Google Friend Connect widgets and REALLY keeping in touch :)
Click on the FOLLOW button below to connect with me; let me know that you have connected through this GFC and introduce yourself in the COMMENT section of this blog post. This will let me know to go to your blog and do the same.
(If you can't see the button on this blog post, click the one on the right hand side of this page)
I know this is something a little different than we've seen with other Blog Hops / Link Ups, but I noticed that some moms don't know about this feature and others mentioned finding it a challenge to make more friends online / increase Google Friend Connect followers. Lets make this the "blog hop" / "link up" for Mother Baby Child.
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Lord, I thank you for the life, husband and children that you have given to me. I thank you for the changes that you have made in me. I pray that you please help me to become the woman that you want me to be because it is sometimes hard to believe that I can be more like a Proverbs 31 woman in comparison to the woman that I used to be, but I know that I can by your hands. I know that all is possible through you, Father. I pray for the strength, dignity and wisdom that only you can provide. Please help me make this a home of your love and to become the mother and wife that you want me to be. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.
I haven't been feeling well. I though that I had swimmer's ear, but it is actually a middle ear infection that has been extremely painful and making me sick. I was pretty much bedridden, though did get to my computer a few times to check on things. During that time, I came across one of the saddest blog posts that I've ever read in my life. One line of it said the following: "Today is Kellie's birthday, and her wish is to have her baby back in her arms again."
My heart dropped to my feet as I clicked the link over to Kellie's blog - Another Day Strong - to see what she had to say. I only made it through the slide show of her beautiful angel baby, Maddie (Kellie and husband lost Maddie to SIDS at 4 months old). I was so sad that I quickly went back to read the rest of Tiffany's blog post where she also shared her personal experience of losing her baby to miscarriage ... Needless to say, I could related to the heartbreak she felt, from my own experience. I went back to bed because the ear pain had kicked in again. I know that it is not my place to question God for the reasons why we go through such things. Yet, it still hurts that we do ... Both mothers laid heavy on my heart all day and night.
Today, I read the blog post again to understand that ...
Kellie's birthday wish was for friends to help celebrate her birthday (Sept 1st) by writing a blog post in remembrance of her sweet Maddie. I was sick yesterday and totally overlooked what was going on, therefore I hope this angel mommy will accept my BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. We appreciate how strong you are to come forward to help educate others on S.I.D.S. through your own experience. May the Lord continue to strengthen you ...
"May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up hiscountenance upon you, and give you peace."
