Wordless Wednesday | Size 14 Shoes | 18 Year Old Started College | He Feels Excited & Free

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." Matthew 18:12-14 (NIV)


His face was serious, but there was a little smirk as if he was trying to hide his excitement ... No matter what his age, a mother knows these faces on her son :)


Ripping the paper so quickly it's a blur ...


A quick peak, but can't see the shoes through the tissue paper ...


Pure excitement that mom got the right shoes ...


Happy because they are the right size 14 shoes ...


This is my 18 year old son that started college yesterday (thankful to his Grandma for helping with this). He is 17 years older than our baby ... He is 5 1/2 years older than my middle son ... As the oldest child of a single mother and a boy that never got over his Grandfather's death, he has had a lot of pressure on those feet over the years and some teen issues, too ... Yet, he woke up earlier than usual and ready to go to class; he felt liberated, excited and proud.

HE FELT FREE ...

I feel so proud and grateful that he is coming around to his old self.

I can only pray that his little brothers can live up to those size 14 shoes :)



In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child

Watching Him Grow

The Five Minute Friday word of today is "Grow" and many memories come to mind ...

The most profound is when my oldest son was just a few weeks old. My step-father, mother and I had just finished dinner. My parents got up from the dinner table and headed into the living room where my son was sleeping as sweetly as the newborn baby that he was at the time. I cleared the dishes from the table and was ready to help my mother clean the kitchen, so that I could get back to my baby. My mother never made it back into the kitchen, so I ventured on out to the living room to see what she was doing.

As I walked into the room, I could see that my step-father was watching Jeopardy. I looked towards my mother and she was squashed into the corner of her huge sectional. I walked a bit forward to see that she had my newborn baby in her arms. I said "Mom, what are you doing? Don't you want to clean the kitchen?"

She looked up slowly and said "I AM WATCHING HIM GROW" ...

I was a very immature 21 at the time and really didn't understand what she meant. I thought that she was being smart with me because my mother is on the cynical / sarcastic side at times. I was REALLY upset the whole time that I was cleaning HER kitchen while she was holding MY baby ... LOL :)

5 1/2 years later, I gave birth to my second son. I had matured a bit, though the "watching him grow" experience hit home a little bit when my 2nd son was a newborn. Now that I think back, I was very selfish about the time that anyone spent holding him because I was trying to "watch him grow" as I had seen my mother doing that day. In fact, I tried to carefully watch my first and second sons growing up, but I find that I forget a lot of the stuff my 2nd son asks me about when he was a baby "what time was I born?" ... "what was my favorite baby food" ... etc.

As a single mother of two boys, it is not always easy to watch your children "grow" in the same way that a happy nuclear family or grandparent can see because there are obstacles; many that others overlook and do not understand. They can distract a watching mother at times.

Regardless, as I sit writing this Five Minute Friday blog post (where we write freely for 5 minutes based on one word), I am overwhelmed with the opposite emotions that I felt 18 years ago when my mother said, "I am watching him grow". My 3rd child is almost 11 months old and I am just a few years shy of the age that my mother was when I gave birth to my first son. As I watch this little baby grow, I am flooded with love, joy, sadness, pride, hurt ... a potpourri of emotions that I possess for all 3 of my sons and how it felt watching them grow, but that oldest son is a young man that has moved off on his own.

It is hard to remember that we do not raise our children for ourselves; we raise them for God. Our reward is that we get to "watch them grow" spiritually, emotionally, physically and then they are off on their own with God to continue to watch over them.



In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child


This blog post was inspired by
Five Minute Friday: Grow

Remember Love Your Brother Unconditionally As God Wants You To Do | Five Minute Friday

"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10

I have a lot of pictures of my children (as most moms do), but these are some of the most recent and favorite pictures on my computer. I love looking at them because they make me remember that my children do love one another. This is not so much of a concern between my two younger boys, but my oldest and middle son have had a "bitter-sweet" relationship through the years. It has gotten better, but I still pray that they remember to love one another unconditionally as God has instructed. It is an important change for all of us.

My oldest son will turn 18 this month. He has already graduated High School (I am so proud of him) and is transitioning out on his own (which has been his dream since he was in middle school). We've had some troubles over the past few years, but he has "shaped up" so nicely thus far with help from a program that worked with him. I have "shaped up" from the experience and hurt. Anyways, he was 5 1/2 when I had my second son, and although he was proud to be a big brother, he took it hard and started to resent having a brother. He felt as though he needed to compete for my attention (well both of them did), although he did not need to. They were such different children and still are; like oil and vinegar some would say. My second son loved the oldest son unconditionally. He used to say, "I want to be Nate". Nate would say that he wanted to be "an only child" and do things that would hurt him. Regardless, they had a lot of great times through the years and do love one another. It just took and still takes a lot of reminding.

Things are different now that Baby Max is a part of our family. He makes us remember that there is a 3rd brother that loves everyone unconditionally and that is a beautiful bond from the start. Regardless, as I look through these 4 pictures that make me remember 4 things:

Picture #1
No matter how much you fight and get jealous of one another, REMEMBER that you are brothers. I will always remember the day we took this picture because this was one of the only times that you did not give me a hard time about taking pictures and you got along. You were genuinely happy to participate in this family photo session. Your innocence and happiness shown through this day.

Picture #2

You don't look much older, but years have gone by. Remember how much fun you had together this day (hunting alligators, spending quality time together and sleep deprived because of your new baby brother). Remember that you are not just 2 brothers anymore; you are 3 brothers now (3 amigos) and that if I should meet my maker tomorrow ... remember that you will always have one another.

"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them." ~ 1 John 2:9-11

Picture #3

Now you get to be the big brother. You get to be an example and share the unconditional love that you receive. The same love that you have tried to share with your brother over the years ... it is now yours back and it is beautiful to watch. I will try to remember that - to you - this is all of our baby and that you enjoy having a little responsibility during the process, but you need time to be the tween that you are and the teen that you will become in the next few months.

Picture #4

You cut the umbilical cord when this little brother came into this world. Although you are 17 years apart, there will always be a bond between oldest brother and baby brother; this has strengthened the bond between Jonny and you, but remember that Jonny still needs you and looks up to you. Fortunately, he no longer wants to be you and is happy being himself, but he still looks to you for the unconditional love that he gives Max and will always need from you.

I sit and remember the love, hurt, excitement, disappointment, struggles, blessings ... I remember teaching them to turn the other cheek; that God loves us unconditionally; that God wants us to love our neighbor as he loves us; you must love your brother ... As I sit and I remember that God has blessed me with 3 remarkable little boys at stages in my life where I needed to learn and remember his unconditional love. The same unconditional love that he has for us and had for us when he gave his only son, Jesus, to save us from our sins. Thank you for answering my prayers dear Lord. I now understand and will always remember.

It is really hard to sum this all up in 5 minutes, so I will end with a reminder that I can only pray that my sons will love one another unconditionally as God loves us and instructs us to do.

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." ~ John 15:12


In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child


This blog post was inspired by
Five Minute Friday: Remember

Boy, I Am Not Lois Griffin - Mommy Mama Ma Ma - Take That Game To Your Room!

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I'm not promoting Family Guy, but this little video clip is something that all mothers should see (watch video above) ... Moms, can you relate? I sure can. My baby does this in the mornings while trying to wake us up and sometimes during the day. He gives us a repetitive "da da da da da"and "maaaa maaaa maaaa" ... it is still cute!

This is not the point of my blog post today ...

Babies do this to get our attention because they cannot communicate any differently. They are expressing their need for an adult to help them (pick up, feed, hug, etc.). As boys are maturing, some of them do this same thing to getting a rise out of their mothers (play, show affection, etc.). You have to draw a line and redirect this to the proper verbal and physical actions if you notice that it is happening.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. ~ Psalm 68:5 (NIV)

I was a single mom with my first two boys (until my second son was 10) and my older son used to do this all of the time. Really! Not at the same annoyance level as this "Mommy Mama Ma Ma Ma Ma" that Stewie Griffin is exemplifying in this video, though he did do it well into his 2nd year of High School. By that time, it was a group of boys, spitting chewing tobacco and laughing when I said "ewe" and that I did not want it in my house, as well as numerous other rebellious scenarios. As I think back to when he was a very little boy, there was a crazy number of "booty booty" pinches I received while climbing the steps ... many farts I have ducked from room to room (gave them back to him, too) ... many burping competitions I attended ... sometimes I even received a soft kick in the buttocks (out of the blue) to "grind my rails". I can now burp, fart, catch and flip a leg faster than the average mom because my older son teased and taunted so much. I just took it as the way he chose to show affection, but that it came to an end when he started wanting to wrestle me in his middle school years and then more challenges came in the early teen years.

My boys are like oil and vinegar, therefore I understand that each child is different. Take what you need from my experiences or share with another mom if this does not apply to your family.

My younger son did not do the same. He did not take to burping, farting and whacking me unless he was trying to chime in with what he thought was play between his brother and me. On the other hand, he did try to show affection like this with his older brother. It was not accepted well by the older sibling and this is how I learned that this was an overall problem in our household. Regardless, my middle son was the child in that video. He used to repeat what he wanted over and over and over and over - throughout a day / week / month - even though I said "NO". He always questioned why he did not get his way. He would question until it started a fight with me. I did get this under control while he was in grade school, for the most part, but he still tries to use this tactic to get his way. I nipped it in the bud by letting him know that I am not going to argue with him and then send him out of the room with me (sometimes it is a case of until he has calmed down). He does not dare try to wrestle with me and only goes but so far in arguing a point. This is how it is right now. I will have to update this once he's in high school.

Why do boys do this to mom? Is it a normal part of their development?

As the stereotypes of what a boy or what man should be (depending on the boy child's age) set into their personalities, boys still want the same loving attention from mom. The problem is that some boys think is a "cool" or "manly" to behave as I have explained because they are immature and because some of us let them. They gravitate towards these behaviors instead of just giving mom a hug or snuggling like when they were younger children. My older son did still hug me and want to lay his head on my arm while watching TV on the couch. This was good, but the other actions came across as signs of affection when they were actually inappropriate and I should have redirect the playful signs of affection to the typical ways instead of burping and farting with him or letting him give me "love taps" as he was developing. It was cute at first, though became REALLY annoying and then led to some challenging situations when he became a teen. I used to laugh at it as harmless play and make sure to let him know when he is getting too hyped up or out of line with what is acceptable to me. I should have not laughed and set boundaries when it continued though grade school. I was a single mother at that time and do think that some of his behavior was his showing "love" to me. On the other hand, most often it was his goal to get a rise out of me; my son was testing his position as a male and also boundaries with me. He has always done the same thing to my mother. It is hard to determine whether or not it would have been this way if his Grandfather was there because my step-father died at the beginning of his Kindergarten year. I can share that my younger son rarely challenges like this and it might be the influence of his step-father in his life.

I wanted to share this experience in case you are noticing similar characteristics in your son(s); especially single moms trying to raise boys on your own. It is not that I did not try to turn my son's behaviors into hugs, kisses, conversations about what upset him, etc. It is just that I did not stick with it and thought that feeding into his behavior and playing back was the way to make him hug, kiss and keep the lines of communication open with me. I now understand that a mother needs to get this behavior "in check" as soon as possible else the boy will carry it over to how he interacts with you later in life. You are also putting girls and other female adults (grandmother, teachers, etc) at risk for the same treatment. Although it appears to be playful and expressions of love, it can become a form of manipulation and the way a little boy attempts to control situations and women as he becomes an adult.

Kindly make your son turn those burps, farts, love taps and temper tantrums into hugs, kisses and respectful conversation. Do not play back with him in this fashion because he does not see it as you intend it to be. Send him out of the room and only permit him back when he apologizes and lets it go on his own. Just remember that "I'm sorry" means that we are regretful for an actions and that we do not intend to do it again. Do not let your little boy keep apologizing for the same behaviors ... get some professional help if you notice that developing pattern.

Do you have advice on this subject or a similar situation to share? Let is know in the comment section of this blog post. You will help another mom raise a better man.



In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child