OK, I'm airing my dirty laundry AGAIN and I am curious to know if anyone else can relate? This is starting to become a real issue ...
Aside of looking over to my right and seeing his dirty socks on the floor ... AGAIN (read my previous Dirty Laundry blog post), I am having a problem. I think that my husband wants me fat and is trying to keep me fat to make himself feel better ... REALLY!!! He is offering me junk all of the time, so that he can justify his junk binges during his weight loss. I guess he does not know that men lose weight faster? It is really frustrating!
No, I am not being silly ... I am serious!
I really do think that my husband wants me fat and is intentionally trying to sabotage my weight loss when he is eating A LOT of junk and notices that I am not. When he is in junk-mode, he offers me "bad foods" to the point that I am super tempted to give in.
It is like a co-dependency thing! Despite my repeating that "I am not eating sugar", "I am not eating bad carbs", "I am watching what I eat" and so on, he just keeps pushing and pushing. For example, we have a ton of pie left over from Thanksgiving. He bought a little pie before the holiday and I bought BOGO pies - per my son's request - for Thanksgiving dinner. I had one piece of pie on Thanksgiving and was done with it. I even let him know that I was done with the pie as he was trying to push it on me while cutting his own piece of pie. That was my first indication that he does not like eating pie alone!
His pie pushing did not end at that sitting ...
Would you believe that when I said that I was hungry, he told me to go eat pie??? In fact, over the past 2 days, he has told me to go eat pie - like 6 times - even when I did not say that I was hungry. He watched me making a salad this afternoon and he still offered me pie!!! I swear he keeps pushing pie on me because he does not want the guilt of eating it all alone.
Mind you that this pie eating is following his recent purchase and eating of all of the Twinkies and Oatmeal Cookies. He blames it on the kids!
The crazy thing is that he pretends to support my weight loss. Just yesterday, he explained how he can tell how much weight I've lost. Apparently he has been using his arms as a measuring tape these past few months (no wonder I've been getting so many hugs) and has just announced that I have lost more weight because of how tight his arms wrapped this time. One part of me was like "WOO HOO! You go girl!!!" and then my mind quickly shifted to "then why do you keep offering me that STUPID pie!", but I held my tongue.
Let me set the record straight before I go any further ...
My husband is extremely competitive with me. If one of my websites is doing well, he will work like crazy to make his ONE website produce a little bit and then repeat the progress over and over and over again until I am like sick of praising him on his good work. He was doing the same about his belly starting to go down (he just picked up a manual job that keeps him from gorging his face with sweets all day), but has recently stopped bragging about that because he has been binging :) Meanwhile, he is completely oblivious to the fact that THIS IS NOT how to motivate someone like me.
Also, I do not buy sweets unless it is a special occasion, someone has a special request when I go grocery shopping or we have a special craving. In that case, we can drive to get one thing and be done with it. My hubby is the opposite and that is why he loves to do the grocery shopping or insists on going to the grocery store with me. As I am putting veges in the cart, he has already slipped in the Twinkies, Oatmeal Cookies, Ice Cream, Donuts, etc. He has been refusing to eat vegetables saying that I burnt him out on them. The reality is that I wish that was the case ... we would be slim again!!!
Here's the real deal ... We both put on weight during my pregnancy.
Weight gain wasn't that big of a deal, to my husband, because he did not realize that he was putting on weight until he announced that his pants were too tight in my 2nd trimester; even his new "fat pants" were too tight. In fact, there is a hilarious story of his accidentally wearing a pair of my maternity jeans after showering one day (they were made like real jeans not maternity jeans with the stretchy belly). Anyways, he came out of the shower telling me how great he felt and "by the way, when did we get these? These jeans fit great!" ... LOL. I almost fell out of my hair from laughing so hard. He never wore them again :)
On the other hand, I am really sad about my pregnancy weight gain because I had just gotten myself down to a size 8 pants before I got pregnant. I was a fat pregnant woman with my first 2 boys, so I tried to be extra careful this time around (being almost 40 and all), but the ice cream and fast food cravings took over. Meanwhile, 1/2 of those junk food craving weren't even mine until he brought the food in the door. If it were up to my hubby we would still eat that way!
Here's what broke the straw on the camel's back ...
I asked him to get me some sugar free / fat free hard candy when he went to the store today. I just wanted a piece of hard candy to take the pie off my mind. He comes back with a regular chocolate candy bar and gummy bears. Not only were they the wrong things, they were like SUPER SIZED. It was a huge chocolate bar (600 calories of sugar and fat) and a big bag of gummy bears (100 calories per ounce, so 500 calories of sugar). He did not buy these candies for the household to share because he bought himself an 8 pack of peanut butter cups (640 calories) and my son had sunflower seeds (my good boy). I wanted to lose it on him, but I sent him back to the store instead. I feel sorry now because, although I did not rip and ramp nor say everything on my mind, I did raise my voice and made him rush back to the store before he had to go to work. He did come back with sugar free / fat free candy. If that was there, why on earth would he bring me 1000 calories of sugar / fat candy the first time around???
This is why I think ... My husband Wants Me Fat
I really do not understand his not wanting to get himself back in a healthy flow. I know that he does not like having a belly as much as I do not like having one. Plus, we should be examples to the children. The reality is that men lose faster than women, therefore he should not be in competition with me and also want to support me by not trying to feed me junk all of the time.
Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?
DIRTY LAUNDRY ...
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around
Oh well, let me go walk on my treadmill before he gets home :)
In Motherly Love,
Mother Baby Child
3 comments:
@howtolose - LOL, typically I would delete a comment like this as spam, but your website has great tips. Thanks for stopping by my blog :)
I know that people tend not to want to feel alone. And sometimes it is hard to see other's successes when you feel you aren't being successful yourself.
I really don't know what else to say, except if you don't want pie, don't eat it. Maybe your good example will wear off one day.
I had to read this post b/c I was just thinking something similar the other day, but only b/c we just had Thanksgiving and my husband has gotten out his German chocolate cake recipe to begin baking....
@OneMommy - You are right about that ... no pie. I guess they just do not understand or care how unhealthy it is to eat so much junk. Meanwhile, my husband's over here saying he'll take some of that German chocolate cake. UGG!
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